Elaborated sentences

In Room 4 we have been looking at making sentences more interesting for our reader by adding details. We have had so much fun taking a boring sentence and making it great. Check out my examples.

The lady walked out of the shop.

The beautiful lady walked happily out of the corner shop, with a birthday cake in her hands, because it was her child's birthday.

The pig ate from his trough.

The hungry pig that was black ate quickly out of his trough, that was wooden and grey, because his tummy was empty and wanted food.

The teacher came into the classroom.

The amazing teacher skipped into the classroom, and found the class had decorated the room because, it was her birthday and they all had presents for her and they sang her “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

The mouse went into his hole.

The Queen mouse went into her beautiful, golden, clean, sparkly hide-out place.

The robber went into the house.

The sneaky and quick burglar made it’s way into the Queen’s house.

The girl walked into the classroom.

One-day the girl skipped into the clean classroom.  

The dog sat by his kennel.

The play-full dog ran twice around his kennel.

The bird flew in the window.

The blue bird flew in the window that was left open at night time.

The cat sat on the mat.

The ginger cat sat on the the old mat in front of the fire to get warm.

The computer stopped working.

The old computer that was in the classroom stopped working one day.

The door opened.

The door slowly opened with a creak and scared the cat.

The amazing teacher skipped into the classroom, and found the class had decorated the room because, it was her birthday and they all had presents for her and they sang her “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” They all came up to her with their presents for Mrs May and had a party with lots of food. Then Mrs May thought “ so that is why the children had so much food in their lunch boxes this morning”.

Were in the world is Mrs May??

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I think that Mrs May is at willy wonka’s factory and is in the chocolate river swimming and eating the plant’s which are made of sugar and other lollies. Then willy wonka came in and said “are you having a good time at my factory Mrs May”? “Yes” said Mrs May. But then Mrs May said “I must be going soon back to see my class because I miss them a lot”. Then Mr Willy Wonka said “My oompa loompas will take you in a helicopter back to your school”. “All you have to do is tell them where you want to go and they will follow your orders”. Then when Mrs May gets back to school every one in room 4 ask “Did you have a good time at Wonka’s factory”? “Yes!”said Mrs May. “ I had a great time there and I swam in the chocolate river”!

Meeting Mr Willy Wonka!!!!!!

As Mr Willy Wonka comes out he is limping like he is hurt. I think oh no! He is hurt! But then he falls forward and does a forward roll!!! To all of us and is in front of us 5 children with golden tickets.

I think about Mr Willy Wonka then I tell him that he is a funny man. Mr Willy Wonka tells us to come forward and show him the golden tickets. When he let us in it was really hot I was about to faint!! I noticed that Mr Willy Wonka was wearing a purple and green outfit I liked it alot. Mr Willy Wonka told us to hang them up where  we wanted. My stomach rumbled because I was hungry by the smell of chocolate. I can hear him telling us to follow him.

All of us heard singing when we were in the first room Mr Willy Wonka tells us that they are “Oompa-  Loompas”!!!!!!! I am impressed by Mr Willy Wonka's idea. I think that this is going to be the best day in my live!!!

By Aria Elizabeth Cook.

House on fire!!

House on fire!!

Suddenly I hear a smoke-alarm and I get out of my bed and open my door. I can hear flames up on the wall. I open another door and see the angry ferocious wild flames licking the things around me like a lollipop. I shout FIRE FIRE FIRE to wake anyone in the house. Then I get down, get low, and get out of my house. I run to the mailbox and I get out my phone and call 111 and tell the person my address and phone number ‘632 Clark’s Flat Road 03 4859839’. Then I tell them my name and how many people are in my family. They ask me if everyone is out of the house and I say ’Yes’. Then I can hear the fire truck coming up the driveway. I am so glad that they are putting out the fire.

By Aria.